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I’m actually not dead. just taking a break

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mothwizard:

me: i want something very short and small and cutesy but most importantly body safe and discreet

sex toy companies: try the DEVASTATOR SEVENTY THREE INCHES OF PURE JELLY RUBBER HYPER REALISTIC VEINS WE SHOWED IT TO A NUN ONCE AND SHE BURST INTO FLAMES THERE’S ONLY ONE SETTING: DEVASTATION THE VIBRATIONS CAUSED AN EARTHQUAKE MILLIONS ARE DEAD

(via mr-robert-gray)

Source: mothwizard
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  • Question: WHY DON'T YOU LIKE VIDEO GAMES????!!! - Anonymous
  • Answer:

    thebitterfrenchcanadian:

    Because you’re a nerd

Source: thebitterfrenchcanadian
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shaunhasttings:

shaunhasttings:

IM LAUGHING SO HARD IM WATCHING THE SHOW MALL COPS AND IT REALLY DRAMATICALLY GOES “BUT NOT EVERYONE IS HERE TO SHOP” AND ZOOMS IN TO AKATSUKI COSPLAYERS IM PEEING

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(via miss-countess-von-fingerbang)

Source: shaunhasttings
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thepunkrocker:

gregisalive:

Finally I can rest easy.


#i think you mean we can rest yeezy
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sweetlilpinkprincess:

lifehackable:

More Tumblr Advice Here

I’ve been doing this. I think, “What would Daddy do?” ie if I had a Daddy, how would I want him to care for me? What things would I want him to make sure I stay on track with? How would he expect me to care for his little girl?
And guess what? It’s working :)

Are you people even real?

Source: lifehackable
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